Who said what?!

I feel as though this weekend was full of funny quotes so I thought I'd share a few. Hopefully you enjoy them as much as I did...

Tosha- Which church?
Me- The one where the bum sleeps.
Tosha- Oh! Which entrance do I use?
Joanne- Oh just go past the bum and up the ramp...
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Jason: Why do people even have rehearsal dinners? I don't think people need to practice walking in a straight line.
Me: Well sometimes people do things like lighting candles and stuff like that.
Jason: When we get married I am not lighting any candles. I'm going to break bricks in half to prove that I'm man enough to take care of you for the rest of my life.
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Daniel: If I ever start a gay dating show I'm going to call it "I've had it up to Queer with you."
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Random kid on campus: Every time I run a red light I make sure to look both ways.
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Mr. Wuertz: I hear you're the coordinator of this event.
Me: Yes I am!
Mr. Wuertz: Smart and pretty...you must be the reason boys leave home.
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Tosha: I thought you were going to bed.
Me: I was going to but then Wilbur called me.
Tosha: Wilbur who?
Me: Wilbur Wildcat?
Tosha: Why is the school mascot calling you late at night?
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Me: I want that.
Jason: No.
Me: But I want it.
Jason: No.
Me: Why can't I have it?
Jason: Cause you want it.
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TJ: I didn't see you at the Undie Run!
Me: I didn't go.
TJ: I unfortunately forgot to put some on that day...I had to compete in the open class.
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Mr. Cole: Laura, I thought you were going to watch the kids.
Me: I was but they wouldn't stop kicking eachother and me so I brought them back.
Mr. Cole: Jason, I thought you wanted seven kids!
Jason: I can handle it.
Jaime: I don't know if eating an icecream cone will you watch Laura getting kicked in the distance by two little kids really qualifies as handling it.
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Tosha: Cute pants!
Me: Thanks! They're yours!
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Jason: Where's mom?
Jaime: She's talking to that cactus over there...
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Macey: Give me your phone number and let's be best friends forever and ever.
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Jason: I think I have the plague. You never know when it's gonna hit you. May be tomorrow may be in 64 years, but one of these days, it's gonna get you!
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Mito: Yeah I'm moving out tomorrow, it's gonna stink, I'm going to miss you guys.
Daniel: That's nice, I'm doing my homework.
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Sean: What are you guys watching?
Jason: NOT THE HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE!
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Me: (Pretending to be on the phone) Hello?...oh hi bunny in ball? What's that?...You want Jason to buy you? I would like that too. Too bad he is driving the wrong way. Yes, yes, I'll keep mentioning you until Jason finally gives in and buys you....I'll miss you too. Bye bunny in a ball.
Jason: NO.
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